Permitted to park here!

I went to the doctor today to touch base and to get a script for amitriptyline to try and control the restless leg syndrome. I'm a bit worried about the possible side effect of weight gain - why can't I be put on a medication with weight loss as a side effect! She is a really lovely caring doctor and she asked whether I had a mobility parking permit. I was planning on asking about one but wasn't sure I'd convince her so it was a score to have her mention it! It would have been handy  to have one prior to the appointment because parking was terrible!

She filled in the form for me no problem. I then drove to the local CCS branch who administer the permits. I handed over my form and $50 and got an orange placard in exchange! It lasts 5 years and allows me to park longer in P30 and P60s and to of course park in disabled parking spots. It was handy at the supermarket especially since my splints are making it harder to walk while I adjust to them.


My question is....am I getting more disabled or are the health professionals enabling my disability? I am a determined cuss so I will push myself to do things. I will continue to do this because that's me. If it's not convenient to take a crutch then I'll lurch around. I guess it's the mindset of "Harden the f##k up" vs "if they're available to help you, then you should use them".


At this juncture in time I'm prepared to use my crutch as much as possible because it prevents the hideous pain in my legs from trying to convince my spastic right leg to keep up with the left leg. I'll use the mobility parking permit if I would otherwise not go somewhere because it is too hard to get from where I'd have to park without it and the venue. The jury is out on the splints - my hip has felt much better today when I trialled them but I also used my crutch. 


I can see how people get stuck in wheelchairs once they start using them. The schizophrenic nature of MS really doesn't make decision making easy! It's so confusing! Will I never be able to do any proper walking or running or one day will I wake up myself again but with a mobility permit? That's the sucky part - everyone is different  so some people relapse and then remit(?) back to their old selves with just occasional flareups, others don't get better but don't get worse apart from the flare ups and others head down hill and never get a break! Sucks, sucks, sucks!